I Hate Everything and Everyone!

Article written by Leo Lapierre, CEO,
Coastline and Salon Consultant and Coach

I woke up this morning in a bad mood. Well I guess it was worse than a bad mood...I hated everything and everyone!

I'm not embarrassed to admit that. Most people know me as a half-glass full kind of guy. When they're down, I'm able to say something that up-lifts them, helps them see what to refocus on and realize that if you learn from the things that aren’t working, it'll get better. This morning was not that morning. On the “Suck-O-Meter Scale”, everything sucked on a 10 level! I asked myself where it came from. Why do I feel this way?

Well, first I'm a human and will have emotional swings. But what put my swing into the "hate and it can’t get worse” mode? As I thought about it, it came from a combination of things. On a personal level, my girlfriend got a very good, high level job in Bennington, VT. I live in Seabrook, NH, about 2 1/2 hours away. It means we'll see each other on weekends.

Her son picked up his girlfriend at 1 a.m. last night, at her request, because her flight kept being delayed. It was too late for her father to pick her up because he had a business meeting to get to in the morning. The next morning at 9 a.m. she broke up with him. They've been going out all during high school and they're both seniors in college now. They just went away to a warm, nice island for a week. Where did that come from and what does it mean to him and his life?

Politics has been bothering me lately. I'm am independent and things haven't been decided lately from an independents point of view. It's been pretty one sided. We keep writing checks on an account that doesn't have any money in it. So we borrow and pay interest. I heard today that our interest payments as a country are 100 million dollars a day...100 million freakin dollars a day! How can that be? Aren't we supposed to be the richest country in the world? If that's the case, how come we owe China and Japan a trillion dollars? And where are they getting the money to loan to us?

Business has been frustrating. We're all trying to move our businesses forward. While both of my businesses have been doing well, it still feels like we're stuck. Which way to go? What to offer to clients? What do they want? What do we need to do differently? What can we do better? Lots of questions, yet no clear answers. We want to help our clients. Salons that work with us increase sales and make more money almost all of the time. So what's the hesitation that salons have in developing a relationship with us? What's the doubt we have to overcome? Why don't salons and stylists see us as the place to go to help them move forward?

As I pondered all of this, I thought about life. Life is going by. Each day brings me closer to retirement, which brings me closer to hopefully "seeing the light"! What do I believe in? What do I want? Where am I going? Questions I know everyone out there is asking on some level, at some time.

And then it struck me......

I was frustrated and confused because I was looking outside of myself for happiness and validation. I was trying to change things and people that didn't want to be changed. I wanted to help people that didn't want to be helped. I was trying to CONTROL things. I, you, your parents, their parents, teachers, police, the government can't control people and life. Control and hold on too tightly and people push back and fight back. Think about your children, your significant other, your family, your friends and your staff. When you try to control what they think, say, feel and do, you lose. It's a constant battle, one that's being lost by the attempted controllers. When someone tries to control us, we resist. Someone pushes you and you push back. Then he pulls out a knife, you pull out a gun, a fight breaks out and someone gets hurt. What's the point of it all?

Think about what you want and what you want to accomplish with others. If it makes sense, put it in writing. Read it to yourself and see if it still makes sense. If it does, present it to the others involved. See if it makes sense to them. If it does then move forward together. If it doesn't, discuss the differences and come to a compromise. Compromise is what makes our life’s journey more enjoyable and pleasant. We can move forward together with compromise. Without compromise, we fight, try to prove the other wrong and do things to make others that don't agree with us fail. When that happens we all fail because the “blame game” and “judgment” begins.

I'll sleep well tonight because I let go. I know I have to move forward with my beliefs and I have to let others have their beliefs, even if they differ from mine. All I can do is present the facts, knowing that in my heart, I have my and everyone else’s interests in mind that I'd like to help. Those that see it will benefit, those that don't will continue to struggle with their inner conflict.

Thanks for listening. Goodnight!